it is so hot.

and i only have two weekends left here. yikes. court. eeew.
haha, anyway. idk. people are retarded. and if u give into them
then you're retarded too.

whatevss. i'm happy. straight upp. [:
&i <3 food.
mirrors was trippy. a good stupid movie, haha.
yay for walking around parking lots at 1 in the morning.

other than that i'm soooo tired of work. although i only have two weeks of it left.
mmm, money. money -> food! -> happy.
hahhh. i forgot how fun swings were. and slides.
my mom's cooking for me and i wanna go swimming! la.
college starts in like 3 weeks! so long sweet summer.

me and kristine know girls are dumb. and they need to get off the N U T S. baha. [:
don't be mad. it's too true.


later. love.
reyna.

all women's tenth floor.

baha. so i got my room assignment! deng. SANTA CATALINA-> NORTH TOWER-> TENTH FLOOR-> ROOM NUMBER 10436!!
so ya tenth floor, which is the only all "women's" dorm in the place. just my luck. haha but maybe it WILL be a good thing.
roommate= mayaa. who is super chill. haha, so if u want to send me a letter my address will be:

Reyna Estrada
88334 Santa Catalina Hall
Santa Barbara, CA 93106

send me love letters[:

crazyy that i'm moving out. at 18. every high schoolers dream. haha. oh and i got my beach cruiser! c'est pink! and it's super cute but i did really want a crayola sea green one. oh welps./:
so ya i got a lot of ish done today. yay for me. not as stressed out anymore. actually kinda really happy. i just need to hurry up and get my MACBOOK already. <3
i haven't really been up to anything new. besides acceptance. haha. and i've been really tired lately. like more than usual. to the point where i get icky headaches.
buuuut i went to the doctors and i got a blood test done. have to go back and check my results next weeek.

let's see, what else is there? oh i went bowling. and to downtown disney. fun.
aisde from that ireally don't know.

i'm just really psyched to be moving. i have to shop! and i loveeeee shopping.
haha, so ya. that's it. i'm leaving in three weeks. count 'em.

but don't cry.
i'll bless you with a text soon.
and i'll be back next june.
or july. sparks in the sky.

haha. shwayze<3


oh and i'm going to the heist tonight.
let's see how that goes.

hey guess what ?

i am basing my value upon the person i am and everything i am capable of. i am not basing my value upon how much other people are willing to acknoweldge that. after all who's the one missing out? last night was fun. i really love my mom a lot sometimes. haha, well all the time. but i realize it more sometimes. anyway i love my biffy. or giffy. i forgot. anyway summer just wouldn't have been summer with out her. so i'm thankful. for everything that i have because i know it's amazing. and as the dollar bill said 'everything is going to be ok'.


loves you,
reyna.

see the funny thing about being a girl...

is that you're so naive. you say you don't care when you do. you say you won't when you will. you say you're done when you know you're only getting started.
you obsses when you shouldn't. you care when there's no need to. and you believe things you know aren't worth believing.

so when DOES it work? we want what we can't have. we reject what is more than available. when do we reach the perfect balance?
DO we ever reach that balance? or is just another one of those things that we believe when there's really no need to. or maybe we believe it becasue we have to be sure that there is at least a little hope out there. be it fictional or not.
by nature are we not monogomus? more than happy to be just held by one distinct set of arms.
but what if those arms don't care what they're holding? and are more than happy to switch it up every few days.

we know when we're doing something stupid yet our minds, bodies, and souls make us compeled to be NEEDY. but who likes needy? i know i don't. it's not a very attractive quality. but when we don't need they do. and when we do they don't. so if we don't care they will. but we won't care that they do so what's the point?

it's like a never ending cycle of disappointment.
so we know better
but why don't we do better?
perhaps because better is only a figment of our imagination
and we know that
so we do what is available
and maybe that's just the way it always will be.

whoa !

ahaha who knew i could hack into reynas blog . well duh we share one .

ANYWAYS .

i love my summer roberts to death idk what id do without her she is my all my everything yay for video chats ! 4 years coming up saturdayx3

love always,

MARISSA COOPER x3

denial .

setting sun

rising moon

full of promises yet to be kept
unknown to the naked eye of the horizon
warmth of the sand caressing the fingertips of your soul

flowing stream
ready to sweep you up
at the signal of your faltering heart beat
swept away into a pool of despair

final destination
beholding the vast dreams
of your wavering mind

and the fingertips of your soul
become the soles of your feet
unwilling in all their misery to welcome
the happiness of the paths yet to come

you're annoying

and this time i really mean it.


anyway i can't remember the last time i blogged. i think it was idk i just checked. so last time i left off with coming back from utah and it's been almost a week. anyway that friday night was spent at kris's pad. we made jell-o shots! and TRUST they were yummy. oh! and i got my eyebrows done and i don't like them. we also went shopping and i bought some cute stuff.

dang then saturday came. THE NIGHT. and i had to go to work. man i was exhausted but it went by pretty fast. anyway i got home and waited for kris to come pick me up. then we went over to her house with DC & PRIS. i think we just chilled and listened to music. oh! and daddy made us top ramen. [: he makes the most delicious noodles. trust. anyway gina was our first guest and we started on the jell-o shots and coconut rum pretty early. then everyone else started coming. obviously me and kris know mostly guys kuz it was a big ol' c-ck fest. yikes. haha, anyway i didn't get that messed up kuz i was waiting for someone. and he didn't get there til like 12am. haha but it was chill. i had about a gazillion jell-o shots. man those things were delicious. but i stayed pretty sober. everyone left at like 12am. haha right about the time that dane &ralph got there. anyway kristine left to drop off dc and we all snuck into the house. mez and jez and them came back so we all just scattered. i think we watched the olympics ? idk but it was pretty relaxing. just cuddling on the sofa. it's fun stuff. okay so i think we all fell asleep around 6am. mez and jez and them left at like 4am though. so it was just me dane ralph and kris. oh and dp and gina!

fah so sunday kris woke us up at 7am! ya... 7am! one hour after we had fallen asleep. i seriously
felt like i had slept forever but it caught up with me later. so ya we watched umm rebound ? well parts of it. and meet the robinsons while kris made us pancakes. she made dane a mickey mouse one. haha. mm then i had to go to work. so i came home and took a like 15 minute nap. work was hell the first hour. i have never wanted to go to sleep so bad. but the rest of the day was okay. i went over to eric's house after. and i didn't stay long kuz i was super sleepyy!!!! ah. so i came home and knoooooocked out. caught up on much needed sleep.

monday.. hm. monday i had work at fricken 10am! haha, sick. so after work kris picked me up and we went to greg's house. it was pretty chill. then i had to come home and do some ish for my stepdad and brother. irritating stuff. finished and kris went to dc's house while i stayed here and read my 8th grade blog. haha.

then when kris finally got here we went to eat tacos. and i spent the night.

woke up this morning aaaaand went to denny's! had to settle after looking for an ihop that did NOT exist. haha. then we went to dane's and swaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam. yummy.

hmm. then me and kris looked for the library while dane went to class and dc went to practice.
at like 5 we went to get ready at kris's house. yaaaaa, i know this is some boring ish but whatever. no one has to read it. haha. so we watched the secret life of the american teenager and it was amazing. as usual. haha then amber and her friends came over. man they're hilarious. we made plans to club. and i had some complications regarding this nights double date plans. turns out someone couldn't make it. no raincheck no nada. just couldn't make it. so fine the thing i've been looking forward to all day didn't go through. that's super chill[: noooo lie.
anyway now here i am. and when it comes down to it "all dressed up and nowhere to go" is n0where near fun. so let's open up and dish it all out. being nice to people gets you nowhere but humiliated. not to an extreme. just to the point where you think "man, what got into me?" you know? afterall, i am out of here in a month. no use in setting up my spiderweb and getting settled in. no strings attached is always the smart way to go. regardless.

loves you,
reyna

i guess the drive way is the end of the road . . .

dependently independent.
independently dependent.
like a drug;




today i realized i had a problem.
hello, my name is reyna and i'm addicted to my iphone.

and one other thing that i'm not even sure i want.
x3
scumbag.

some vegas. some utah. a whole lotta nice. [;

so, hmmm.. where to start? well sunday i woke up way too early. 7am! after going to sleep around maybe 2 or 3. i was suppose to have a kind of 'bye for five days?' breakfast with hippo but let's just say that didn't end up happening. anyway i got up packed and got ready to go. not that much later kristine came to pick me up and we were on our way... to the bank! haha. then we went back to my house and ate yummy tacos. once on the rode of course we stopped at AM PM to get slushies, snacks, and gasssss. 

our road trip finally began [:

i loved to the car ride. to say the least. reading friendship and A WHOLE LOT of singing!!! muaha. loves it! so our first stop was in san bernandino to meet up with elsa. someone we didn't expect to be driving her car- er, was. but we chose to ignore it. when we finally got to vegas- after singing at the top of our lungs and hitting on guys that passed us on the road- we found none other than DUM DUM DUM: sonics!!!! we like seriously let out a fricken shriek of joy. you have like no clue how long we've been wanting to go to that dang place. we didn't stop though. kuz we were following elsa. 

"dang, where does she live? arizona?" haha, so it turned out that elsa's apartment is HUMONGO. like seriously. it was fricken pretty too. we decided to go for a swim in the pool. which looked like a smaller version of the HSM pool. noooo lie. supah nice. [:

so we swam. caught up and what not then decided to go back to her place. however, we were locked out. which sucked. but we got dry. haha.

"what's the point in this? why do we have to just sit here. our lives are so pointless." after the long wait for the dang keys and many mistaken cars later we were finally let back in to the apartment. not to mention we got a home cooked meal and about eight corona and limes each. which wasn't too shabby. all was forgiven.

so around midnight or one, when we were all- or well mostly all- good and tipsy we made our way to the strip. the original plan was to buy a boot! but it turned out that they were sold out so we bought the next  best thing. a super strong tequila filled ginormous twenty dollar slushie. FK ya!!!!! hahahaah. 

"PAPA CAN YOU HEAR ME? MAMMA CAN YOU HEAR ME"

"why aren't you answering her?"

dang. gotta love vegas. walking down the strip. drink in hand. gulpping down sluquilla (slushie&tequila). brain freeze! man the works. then we decided to drive to the world's biggest gift shop. except the stupid thing was closed. we're still dropping by on our way back though.

made our way home at around 5:30am. and decided we needed to go buy some "stuff". haha. which was pointless kuz by the time we got home everyone was way too tired to drink and knocked the heck out. OH!! and i almost forgot to write the most exciting part of it all down!!! DIEANA decided to puke all over me!! only after she appropriately puked on herself first. haha, so ya. 

woke up the next morning at around 10? and me and kristine were on our way to utah! we stopped by at sonic's first tho of course. and ordered lunch. our expectations were WAYY high after that dang commercial. we ordered lunch AND dessert. sad to say but it was a big disappointment. /:

ride to utah was so hot. still much fun tho. i drove for like 2 hours and almost knocked the hell out on the rode. haha. anyway after like 5 hours we finally made it safe and sound. KRISSY'S grandparentals are way cute. we played nertz!  

and i think we ate? yaaaaaa, cafe rio. some delicious giant burrito. enchilada style[;

then me and krissy went upstairs. she knocked out at like 10! and i stayed up till around 1 am reading and texting some dumb boy. 

woke up at 12 the next day. we went to the bank. and i met my future husband. DOUG READER<3.>

"i feel eight."

"man, i feel two."

it must be love love love. 

so our meeting with krissy's financial adviser had to end sooner or later right? so we crossed the parking lot to the mac store. everyone here is so fricken friendly. you can't walk into a store with out discussing your life story with whomever is helping you out. 

stopped by HOGI YOGI on the way home.

bought teriyaki chicken and a yogi. el oh el. 

"2.2 ounces! not .1 more! not .1 less!!"

the food was good. krissy had to set up everything on her computer so we played nertz again. then phase 10 which was particularly entertaining since i won. i think we went upstairs after that and had a fricken blast with the new macbook. barb heard me say "penis" and "fucken". i emm ashamed!!! hhahahaha.

"oh my."

that night kinda sucked. krissy fell asleep later. around 12. and i read. i thought i would fall asleep since i was exhausted but nope. i ended up staying up 'til around 4 am which totally blowed. had to woke up early today! big day. krissy made eggs and banana smoothies and we made our way to deer creek lake. love the scenery. so serene. 

we met up with her uncle and got on the boat. man it was amazing. i wanted to stay there for like  EVER. things got complicated tho. haha. we went tube-ING. and wake boarding. and water skiing[;[;[;. haha. we swam too. it was incredible. all you could see was like mountains. and the water. pretty breath taking stuff. we stayed out there for about 4 or 5 hours. then we came home and i showered. i loves me some lake. but it does make me feel pretty dirty. haha. 

anyway currently my phone and stupid boys are annoying me. it's also upsetting that elsa isn't going saturday but whatever. this ish is long enough, right? i wish we could stay longer but eventually it comes time to say goodbye. 

so let's live it. feel it. smell it. taste it. BE it.

forget FELT. and LIVED.

stay in the moment forever.

<3

loves you,

reyna

kristine is my husband

and tomorrow we leave on our honeymoon.

maaaaaaaaaaan why the hell do people make us sad? /: idk but boy made me waaaaaaaaaaay sad today. i don't think he even noticed. i tried to play it off but youknow. blah.
anyway today was a long ass muthereffing day. first rest i get and i'm drunk off my ass. anyway wednesday ? i umm went to work. thursday i stayed at fucken kristine's for FOR EVERRR. and it was BOMB. we did nothing all of friday. woke up. fell asleep in her car. fell asleep in her bed again. woke up and ate forever while watching sex and the city. then we went to the movies with dane [:
and his friends. we watched the dark night. everyone else watched pineapple express. and krissypoo watched MAMA MIA! here i go again. nana, hahaahha!!!! she fell asleep. oh ya! we watched pineapple express thursday instead of going to the heist. fuck as FUUUUDGE. ummm everyone there was high.

anyway onto friday. it was cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee<3 haha darrk night is trippy. and nachos from albert's mexican food place aren't too great. ummm he's adorable <3


so today. i went to work. came home. changed. went shopping. came home. took my mom to a wedding. brought her home. went with kris to pick up her boo. red robin. fucken BOMB ASS parrty. and here i am! sup. i had a good day. except for ONE THING. <3


loves you,
reyna

weird.

you always want what you can't have . B A D l y .


water involuntarely rises.
in an effortless motion to become closer to the moon.
and internally a vicious storm brews.
the world isn't ready for a combustion like this.
OCEAN.
indestructible furry ready to be unleashed.
as she realizes that although rising
SHE KEEPS ON FALLING
and thus
is still lightyears away from the luminous giant.

a whole lot of . . W H A T ?

so monday night and tuesday morning were amazing. perfect if you want. went over to kristine's with pedro. but before i left my mom found a pregnancy test and thought it was mine. wasn't. duhh. but it was quite an ordeal. however that's spelled. anyway at kristine's we just layed for a while since i'm always tired and we're super lazy. then we popped in sex and the city and kristine knocked out. i went to sleep a bit later and pedro stayed up.

the next morning krisitne thought i had work so decided to wake up early. i really did have work tuesday but i called in sick kuz i rather go on a date. selfish reyna time. anyway me and pedro went grocery shopping for like strawberrys and bananas and all that good stuff. kuz we had a bomb breakfast. and watched some more sex and the city. then we took thunder cat on a walk to blockbuster. got back and i had to go home. came home got ready and got picked up. things didn't go as planned. ended up at el torrito watching that dummy eat a spicy burrito, haha. then we watched tranformers and idky but that movie always puts me to sleep. i had fun i guess but i had A LOT on my mind. idk you know? i was suppose to go watch tsottp with kris and pris but i didn't kuz i'm dumb. life isn't as simple as we'd like to think it to be. and when we only want to think of ourselves it's impossible kuz there's millions of other factors we have to consider. it gets to a point where you just crawl into ur mind and want to rest there for a couple of days. but then you miss the company of the outside world. so you sit there with out a smile but not so much a frown. and memories that make u smile. and thoughts that bring you down. so what do i do? agree to go into work when james calls me kuz i feel guilty enough as it is. even though work is probably the last thing i want right now. a little dose of kristine would help. if i could open up. but i don't want to. it's hard.

you know when your thoughts are trapped in your mind
it can be frustrating but at least they're protected.
once you let them out
the feeling could be liberating
but then they're free to be stomped on.

le fair de oc es tres grand <3

gees i haven't wrote in here. and i'm only really doing it right now kuz i can't find my diary. haha. [:


anyway the heist thursday night was super fun. met some guys in line with bipolar disorder. and another one with a twitch who was suppose to get us in but didn't. so we played tap tap revenge in line which was pretty entertaining. made it home safe and had work the next day @ 10. didn't get any sleep.

friday . . . hmm i had work. it was okay. i left a bit late kuz it wasn't that bad. after work i came home and chilled. i think kristine picked me up and we went to her house. watched the secret life of the american teenager which we got some kicks out of. especially after amber got there. when we finished watching amber's friends came over and we had hilarious convos[: and watched a not so hilarious video called 'positive'. you should check it out on youtube. anyway we had a few and went to sleep after watching kuzco<3.

had work early the next morning too so again no sleep. work was alright. i was a bit exhausted. but anyway after work kristine picked me up from home and we went to eric's house because his mom and dad just renewed their vows and there was a party with food. raymund was there. and peter showed up later. after about three plates of food we decided we had about enough and made our way to mezlier's house.

i threw back about ten shots. cazadores tequila. cana de flor. uv limonade vodka. crown royale. then a few coronas. twisssssssted. i didn't think i was drunk. took lots of pictures with our photographer edzon. anyway kristine decided it was time to go and dropped me off. i don't remember when but i got sick ass hell and threw up everywhere. on my clothes. the bathroom. the rug. my sheets. maaaan. so i wake up today at like 10 kuz for the like billionth time this weekend i have work early. i take a shower and go. it was ok. slow at first. but it sped up. my manager asked me if i could go in to do apparel tomorrow and i agreed. so again i have work early tomorrow morning.

anyway about tonight. which was hands down the best night of the bunch. no alcohol added.

me and kristine agreed we haaaad to go to the oc fair since it was the last night it would be in town. i invited an old friend and pedro and jocelyn were suppose to come along, along with kristine and the boyfriend. turned out that only me my friend kristine and dc ended up going.
so we get there. and i was psyched. i loooooooooove the fair. we were torn between food and rides but decided to go on one ride and then eat. the swings were cute with wind blowing in my hair. anyway we found some bbq place and got fried chicken! haha, they were sold out of everything though. after the food which wasn't too great we decided to watch the hypnotist. which was hilarious! but a bit boring at times. chip n dales<3. baha. after we finally went to .. . none other than T H E F A R I S W H E E L . it was super cute. cuddles. gah i loved it. i planned on getting on a bunch of scary rides but i ran out of tickets and time flew. we went to the impossible to find slide after and raced. they said i took off early but i think they just didn't hear the guy say go. [:D] anyway friendboy won kuz he like super propelled himself and launched away. i wanted to go on a cool ride after but i discovered it was too expensive! so we talked some white south african into letting us play his water game for what was left of my tickets. kristine won the cute lala. and the south african guy talked nonsense about dukes of hazard or something like that and told us we had A M E R I C A N accents. haha. dc decided we couldn't leave without funnel cake but they were out of strawberries so me and friendboy went to get a mexican funnel cake. which was delicious. but we were full and sick and threw practically all of it away.

finally the fair was over. we got in the car and i made myself comfortable. [;
cute car ride. with weeeezy.
"my left?!" baha! gotta love it.

homeee. walked him to his car kuz i'ms a gentle ladyy.
watched law and order. wrote this amazingly long blog.
love us <3


come come summertime
love love hold my hand
take a ride with me
D O N ' T B E S H Y