a whole lot of . . W H A T ?

so monday night and tuesday morning were amazing. perfect if you want. went over to kristine's with pedro. but before i left my mom found a pregnancy test and thought it was mine. wasn't. duhh. but it was quite an ordeal. however that's spelled. anyway at kristine's we just layed for a while since i'm always tired and we're super lazy. then we popped in sex and the city and kristine knocked out. i went to sleep a bit later and pedro stayed up.

the next morning krisitne thought i had work so decided to wake up early. i really did have work tuesday but i called in sick kuz i rather go on a date. selfish reyna time. anyway me and pedro went grocery shopping for like strawberrys and bananas and all that good stuff. kuz we had a bomb breakfast. and watched some more sex and the city. then we took thunder cat on a walk to blockbuster. got back and i had to go home. came home got ready and got picked up. things didn't go as planned. ended up at el torrito watching that dummy eat a spicy burrito, haha. then we watched tranformers and idky but that movie always puts me to sleep. i had fun i guess but i had A LOT on my mind. idk you know? i was suppose to go watch tsottp with kris and pris but i didn't kuz i'm dumb. life isn't as simple as we'd like to think it to be. and when we only want to think of ourselves it's impossible kuz there's millions of other factors we have to consider. it gets to a point where you just crawl into ur mind and want to rest there for a couple of days. but then you miss the company of the outside world. so you sit there with out a smile but not so much a frown. and memories that make u smile. and thoughts that bring you down. so what do i do? agree to go into work when james calls me kuz i feel guilty enough as it is. even though work is probably the last thing i want right now. a little dose of kristine would help. if i could open up. but i don't want to. it's hard.

you know when your thoughts are trapped in your mind
it can be frustrating but at least they're protected.
once you let them out
the feeling could be liberating
but then they're free to be stomped on.